Part of this made-up dialog is fictitious. The premise suddenly hit me while I was doing my post on Repertory Philippine’s Hamlet. Since it’s so dorky, I got the services of my made-up Mutt character to present the idea with me. Read just for fun, people, so Shakespeare scholars dun kill me pleas. See, I don’t even know how to spell.
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[ I suggest you read on ONLY if you are familiar with Shakespeare's Hamlet. Kthx. ]
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“Tell me, Mutt, what have you to say about Shakespeare?”Mutt turns his head in my direction and mutters in the most uninterested voice, “release me from my bands with the help of your good hands… As you from crimes would pardoned be, let your indulgence set me free.1”
“WHAT?”
“I just quoted Prospero from Shakespeare’s The Tempest.”
“Oh…”
“…”
“Right… um, I saw Hemlet…”
“The 1948 movie adaptation that bagged Oscars for both best picture and best actor? One with Laurence Olivier?”
“Laurence Olivier did Hamlet?! No way!”
“…”
“No, I saw the stage play.”
“And?”
“This is the first time I’ve seen it. Hell, I haven’t even read the text! It was actually a chore to absorb the lines the actors keep throwing my way but despite that, I think I dug the whole thing well enough to appreciate it.”
“Who is Yorick,” Mutt asks almost cutting off my last sentence.
“Yorick?”
“I knew you’d miss the name. He owns the skull the grave-digger found.”
“Is that even important? He was only ever mentioned once the entire play.”
“Do you remember what Hamlet said as he held what supposedly is Yorick’s skull? Did you not wonder why Hamlet took to treating his mother and Ophelia irreverently? The answer lies in the person that was Yorick, their kingdom’s court jester in his childhood.”
“Go on, I’m listening.”
“Hamlet was sexually molested when he was young by none other than Yorick, the kingdom’s stand-up comedic clown. Had you been listening closely, Hamlet said the following in his trance-like reverie while holding and looking at Yorick’s skull: He hath bore me on his back a thousand times, and now how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.2”
I stared at the dog, still processing his lines. I suddenly gave out a big yelp and said, “that’s just plain stupid! Only pervs would interpret it that way!”
“Hamlet suppressed the thought because losing Yorick to death when he was young was so painful. Hamlet had learned to love the man despite the abuse that he may have later on found gratifying. This, too, is root of his tendency to be harsh towards his mother and supposed lady love, Ophelia. He can’t accept his sexuality so he turned to the women in his life instead. Albeit hard, the prince decided to fight his tendency to swing-both-ways from pubescence to adulthood.
“He looks up to his father, King Hamlet, for deliverance from this, his so-called sin. The King knows about Yorick’s pedo-tendencies from news he received via chamber maids and Yorick’s co-clowns. Catching Yorick in the act of molesting his own son made the King decide to dispose of the jester, all the while making sure that all things related to Yorick’s murder is kept from the prince. King Hamlet trained the prince afterwards, until adulthood, with hopes of leading him back to the manly man path.
“All too soon, the King dies. Murdered. Prince Hamlet is bugged by the thought that he will be left as heir to the throne after his step-dad’s death and he can never imagine the people accepting him and his secret life, should he succumb to the sin. With all these already going on inside his head, his father’s death thus ups his soliloquy moments, take it as madness if you will more than thinking out loud. He makes for himself a diversion and cloaks his inner tribulations instead with plots of revenge, all while wearing his mask of what others see as madness.”
“You are just a dog! Your kind can NOT interpret Shakespeare! Not now nor ever!”
“Unpopular notions on things should not always be dismissed as wrong. Besides, this sub-plot does not at all affect the magnificence of the play. If anything, you should be thankful you heard it.”
“Well, I find your sub-plot stupid!”
Mutt sighs uncaringly. As he turns his head away, he says, “there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt in your philosophy.3”
“And no dog food for you!”
1 The Tempest Act 5, Scene 1
2 Hamlet Act 5, Scene 1
3 Hamlet Act 1, Scene 5
“Mutt, Me, and” are trademarks of the author
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Twitter Updates
4 February 2008 at 9:03 am
I stopped reading right after the first sentence. Guess I’m not cultured enuff for this post :( heheh
4 February 2008 at 12:09 pm
Wrote this with no audience in mind. Got that from you, actually. Naks!
5 February 2008 at 10:36 pm
Wow. Just fricking… wow.
6 February 2008 at 1:33 pm
You wow-ing the speaking dog or the play?