“The Usual” Paranoia

Written by Fritz

Topics: Personal

“The usual, sir?”
“…I have a usual?” I say, feeling slightly embarrassed. I realized I’m not doing too good in making my day-to-day as random as possible.
“Um, yes, sir. That’s farmer’s ham with cheese na grilled yung ham, no vegetables except for lettuce, a little olive oil, a dash of salt and pepper, and herb mayo for dressing. Tama ba, sir?”
“You forgot one thing.”
“And a regular Coke to go, sir?”
“Sorry, I’m just messing with you. Tama, to go nga.”
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In books and movies, people usually end up dead for having a fairly predictable daily routine. These are those types who walk their dog at a particular hour. They have tea at this time while listening to this kind of music just before going to bed. They stop by the donut house to get a bagel before going to work. The routines may not be daily but these people do it fairly regularly. It need not even be the same time each month. It could just be something that sticks as your unique vibe when you go to a particular place.
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“One tall pressed coffee! Espresso roast blend, extra hot, and a shot of steamed half-and-half milk for Fritz! Right, sir Fritz?”
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That I’m thankful I don’t wake up the same minute each day must pick up from this silly logic. I even make it a point to get a cab from different points within the vicinity of my house to make this probable psychological horror less likely to happen.
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“Fritz, we don’t have your usual cut off the new arrivals. They’re all loose this time. We do have 502s in a different wash. Just got them two weeks ago. I’ll get them for you.”
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I don’t want stalkers (bah, as if I’d have stalkers) following me in the dead of night just because they know I always go home late from wall climbing on Tuesdays. News flash: just because people may seem tough on the outside doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t get paranoid at all. Like me, they must just keep it to themselves pretty darn well.
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“Hi Sir, just have a seat, I’ll take out all the size 46 shirts from the new batch. I also have one jacket, you take those in 48s, right? I’ll have you see them”
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See, I realized I usually go to the same stores for the stuff I need. I do not even have to say anything to the attendants when I come visit. It has even come to that point when they start calling me by my first or my last name! It’s as if they can all read my mind.
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“I think this time of year, you’d usually want to change your comic book plastics. Here, I’ve set aside 200 for you, with acid-free backing boards just the way you want them.”
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From now on, I’ll make my own sandwich, buy instant coffee, take the jeep, and get my stuff from other places. Places I don’t usually go to.
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But…
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Ok, I have spent time and unconscious effort in finally being on that level where I could get people to ask me “the usual, sir?” See, I think I’ve sort of wanted this thing to happen which is why I let it. Now that I have it, I suddenly realize don’t want it, is that it? So which is which? Satisfy a baseless and virtually non-existent paranoia or continue to revel in this pathetic feeling of super stardom?
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Sock it, to hell with randomness. I’ll take the usual, please. Thanks.
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